Budweiser Beer Tip of the Week

Quizno's QotW has been officially retired. I don't eat there anymore and my vast knowledge of football trivia was exhausted last year. Given Bellichek's viedotape shennanigans, fair play in football is over so who cares about stats and such? So instead, we will devote a weekly column to a topic arguably more important than professional football, beer.

For our first post, we'll be discussing a controversial issue - the US legal drinking age. I have been contemplating said issue after two recent experiences, the first reading a fascinating article in the highly respected publication "Mid Atlantic Brewing News" about Harry Potter. The author was criticizing folks upset that JK Rowling is encouraging underage drinking with wink and nod references to HP and friends getting tipsy on "butterbeer." I read the last HP with as intense focus as the next 10 year old but must have missed the direct advice to get trashed before puberty. In any case, the author explains of course that it is normal in many (mostly European) countries for low alcohol drinks (beer, wine) to be enjoyed with family and parents at special occassions (e.g. dinner) while in the good old US of A, it is normal for high school students with fake IDs to drink warm piss out of a keg then drive drunk into a tree. To quote the BBC: In the US, "You're able to buy a gun at 18 and drive at 15 but you're not allowed any beer until you reach 21."Hmmmmm...

#2 was seeing Orwellian billboards all over Philly screaming "WE DON'T SERVE TEENS" with a line through a picture of a beer bottle, wine glass, and liquor bottle - as it turns out the week of 9/10 was "We Don't Serve Teens" Week. Are you kidding me? Teens drinking beer is the biggest threat to our national security? The tag line of course should be (WHEN YOU TURN 21, WE'LL SELL YOU ENOUGH GRAIN ALCOHOL TO KILL YOUR ENTIRE FRATERNITY HOUSE!).



So that's the issue. You can vote at 18 but can't have ale at a pub. The day you turn 21, you can do shots till you pass out and get shipped off to the ER.



So this is what I would do if I was Barak Obama and got elected president and Mr. Liebman's Red states Congressman got stuck in a corn field for a few days:



Age 14-18. Parent or legal guardian can serve or purchase 1-2 beers or glasses of wine with a meal. Kiddies cannot purchase any alcohol on their own. Me and Santh can have a beer at dinner when she is in high school but I go to jail (as I should) for buying her enough booze to get her and her 10 friends drunk.



Age 18-21. These ADULTS can purchase beer or wine at a bar/restaurant, a six pack of beer or a bottle of wine to share with a few friends. They cannot purchase larger amounts (e.g keg, case) or any amount of hard liquour. Could 10 19 year olds team up to buy enough beer to have a party - sure - but it would take a ton of effort. Plus, why go through the hassle when you can just go to a bar and get a nice buzz legally? I would have had a few real beers in college instead of tryin to get my $3 cover charge worth of Milwaukee Piss at some frat party.


Age 21+. No change. Grain alcohol and cheap tequila available but... after years of developing a taste for IPA and Pinot Noir, maybe not...

This is all very similar to British alcohol laws as it turns out...

As a nod to the MADD crowd, DUI laws for under 21 crowd should be super strict: one DUI or accident under the influence and your license is suspended in all states till age 21 at which point you have to start all over again.

I realize this type of policy has as much chance of passing as universal health care (Dave), mandatory 30 hour work week (Yesh), Federal free lunch program for all College students (Liebman), protection from bandweather NFL fan choice persecution becoming a supreme court decided Civil Right(Ashok), bad hair day becoming a legit reason to miss work (Vijay) or hospitals being required to allow interns to bring their Mom's to work so they can eat (Vishnu)....

but great causes must start against great odds...